My Brave Story- Kelli Dunavant

Let me introduce you to this recently engaged one of a kind cowgirl divas. Kelli has been a follower of our blog from the start. It was one day that Kelli wrote us after having read one of our blogs that related to something that she was walking through in her life. Together we shared , prayed and stood on the word of God. Kelli then shared a book with me that I always feel like I talk about, but it's just that amazing. The "Life Is" book by her Pastor Judah Smith!!!  Since then we have gotten to know each other from afar. This past summer when our worship team was out in California for the Jesus Culture conference, Candace and I were able to meet up with Kelli for the first time as we danced our hearts out and sung at the tops of our lungs to Jesus. You know you've truly met your kind when you can go and do this. I am so blessed to have Kelli in my life. I love her open honesty, her beautiful smile and most of all, that she has such an open heart to hear from God when He speaks things to her and others. One day she will know just how thankful I am for her and I am honored to call her my sister in Christ! Take a look at her Brave story! 

I was born in England, grew up in the South in the city, and spent summers in the Montana countryside. Therefore, my personal style encompasses a wide variety of elements that make me Britain born, Southern bred, and Montana built. I'm turquoise obsessed, never met a boot I didn't like, love a good cozy cardigan, live in a leather jacket, and am a sucker for anything with fringe. I hang my hat in California and my heart in Montana where the ranch that built me remains and the love of my life holds down the fort next door. My entire being is split two ways: 1 part fashionista, 1 part cowboy girl. I'm a giver like my daddy, I'm a lover like my momma, a world changer like my Heavenly Father and I'm a dancer, because who doesn't love to dance. I eat peanut butter with a spoon and I dance in the aisles of the grocery store. 

Standing on the shore...

One year ago, my life was forever changed. I was coasting along, figuring out my life plans, and living the life in Los Angeles. I had a great church community, I was sure of the Grace of God, I sang worship songs at the top of my lungs. Life was great. I was in control. Suddenly, I was stopped in my tracks. My body waged war against me and nearly took me out. I was on the NuvaRing for menstrual discomfort and what started as upper left quadrant pain spiraled into deadly blood clots exploding, two near deaths, a blood transfusion, six months of complete hell, and a lifetime of added fear. In the same year, I experienced the loss of many loved ones. I wept for time gone by; I wept for things I had lost, and I wept for the physical pain in my body. If this was to be God's best for me, why was it so painful?! Talk about feeling out of control! 

He calls my name...

For almost six months, my life paused. My bed became a prison; eating was a chore, and living alone afforded me the unfortunate circumstance of always being just that...alone. There were days I would cry for hours, some days I drowned myself in Netflix and blankets, and other days I stared at the wall between doctor's visits. I was scared; I was angry, I couldn't see any light in the tunnel or at the end of it. I was certain that God had forgotten me entirely and almost daily I would ask him "God, do you still see me?" This is where it happened though. God got ahold of me in the stillness. In the silence, He slowly renewed my faith. With nothing around and nowhere to go, God rebuilt me. 

Stepping out into the waves...

I poured over Facebook in my boredom and found the scripture that would be my strength for months. Psalm 119:81 "I am worn out waiting for Your rescue, but I have put my hope in Your Word." I realized that it was ok to be worn out, it was ok to be exhausted, and it was ok to throw all of it at God. Casting our cares upon Him isn't a passive motion. He can take the beating from us because He trusts that we have read His Word as well. My pastor, Judah Smith, gave an inspiring message once on what to do when we don't see our promises unfolding. He reminded us to dig into the promises in the Bible that did come to pass. He encouraged us to remember that He's the same God. After watching it on Youtube in my bed, fully enveloped in tears, I did just that. I put my hope in God's Word. In the pain, in the suffering, in my questioning whether He was even there at all, He changed me. 

Don't look back...

This journey was very much a God journey because just like the stories of God calming the storm abruptly. He did so in my life. Months of suffering, days of crying, weeks of devastation, and then one day it all stopped. The pain was gone, the bleeding dried up, the color started coming back in my skin, and I began to breathe new life. Once peace returned in my daily life, I noticed that in the losses, I had gained. I gained a closer relationship with my Creator. I gained a closer relationship with my parents and would later understand suffering to provide compassion for my father who would spend 12 restless weeks in the hospital. I gained a man who stood by me in the storm, never jumped ship, and is now going to be my husband. I gained a stronger church community and a group of friends who became family. People who sacrificed time and money and prayers to be by my side. I gained a doctor who cares for me beyond a paycheck and still fields scared texts at 2 am. I gained knowledge and understanding of my body and the dangers of modern medicine to help young girls in the future. 

Reaching for His hand...

As Kirste previously stated in the Brave Series, the gift of free will provides us humans with a lot of desire for control. Control of our thoughts, control of our actions, control of our time, control of our life. We get on a winning streak, and we feel in control, we get on a losing streak, and suddenly we feel out of control. These times are the times when we want to yell at God. "Why isn't this working?!" And my favorite one is always "Why are you doing this to me?!" After the questions come the fears and even though we have read multiple times in the Bible that God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, here we are, terrified and angry because we're out of control. Worry is the admission that we don't have control but we want control. C.S Lewis once said, "We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." This statement speaks so much to our fears as humans and so much to my story.  

Take hold...

In all my shortcomings and failures, I stand on the Rock that is higher than I. I strive daily not just to be the woman He created me to be, but the woman He saved me to be. When you're in a storm without an umbrella, you think you'll drown forever. But be reminded that God doesn't create half things. He puts even the smallest touches on them and says "it is good." In my storm, I was sure that everything was over because it was never good. But God wasn't finished with me because He DID NOT say "It is good" when I started having pain. He DID NOT say "It is good" when they found the clot in my leg. He DID NOT say "It is good" when they found that the clot in my leg had shot fireworks into my lungs. He DID NOT say "it is good" when I nearly bled to death and had blood transfusions. He is not finished, I am not finished, and neither are you! If you are in a season of struggle, pain, or loss, remember these truths. Trust in His word. Reflect on the promises in the Bible and around you that have come to pass. In HIM we are healed, in HIM we are victors, in HIM we are made new. Great is your faithfulness!